The Bulletin
of the
Church of Christ at
New Georgia
Tim Johnson, editor
February 19, 2006
In
This Issue:
Offended
by Being Offended
by
Steve Klein
The
Importance of Marrying a Christian
by
Bryan Matthew Dockens
Offended by Being Offended
Many years ago, a sister in Christ told me about a problem that she had with a certain gospel preacher. It seems that this preacher was visiting in her home one day when her teenage daughter came in wearing shorts that were too short. The visiting preacher proceeded to chastise the young lady for wearing the shorts and went so far as to rebuke the mother for allowing her daughter to dress immodestly. According to the mother, both she and her daughter were very offended. What right did the preacher have to say such hurtful things? Obviously, the preacher was a mean spirited man who did not have the best interest of others at heart. Naturally, the mother continued to allow her daughter to wear the shorts. In her mind, she was perfectly justified.
The New Testament contains a number of words that even some faithful Christians find hard to define correctly because the words are so often misused by the uninformed in modern speech. Among these are the words church, fellowship and offend. To many, the word church refers to a building, the word fellowship refers to eating fried chicken, and the word offend means to hurt someone's feelings. In the Bible however, church always refers to people, fellowship refers to sharing or participating in something spiritual, and offend means to cause someone to stumble or sin.
The difference between the modern definition of offend and the Biblical one is illustrated by the story about the preacher rebuking the mother and daughter. The mother said that she was "offended," meaning that she had her feelings hurt. As a result, she felt justified in ignoring the preacher's rebuke and allowing her daughter to continue to sin. Her own misunderstanding of what "being offended" really means led her to actually be offended! She caused herself to continue in sin by allowing herself to focus on her hurt feelings. Her own rejection of the preacher's rebuke is what offended - that's what caused her to stumble!
Anytime we reject the truth because it hurts our feelings or is contrary to what we already believe, we offend ourselves. This was what happened to the Pharisees in Matthew 15:12; they "were offended" when they heard the condemning words of Jesus. Similarly, some of Jesus' own disciples were offended when He spoke some "hard sayings" that they found difficult to understand and accept (John 6:61). As a result, "From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him" (John 6:66).
How many times do men reject the truth and the messenger of truth because it hurts? Paul asked the Galatians, "Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?" (Galatians 4:16). Don't let being offended offend you!
-- Steve Klein
Aside from the choice one makes in obeying the gospel, no decision is of such great consequence as the selection of a husband or wife. Marriage is the union of man and woman by God (Matthew 19:6), and is meant to endure a lifetime (Romans 7:2-3; I Corinthians 7:39). Therefore, whom a person selects for a companion is of the utmost importance. Many factors are worthy of consideration, not the least of which is the potential spouse's relationship to God. Give attention to the following scriptures.
In the beginning God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper comparable to him" (Genesis 2:18). Comparability is essential in marriage. During the selection process, the would-be-spouses ought to compare themselves to one another in order to determine how they are alike. Topping the list should be whether they share a "common faith" (Titus 1:4), and a "common salvation" (Jude 3).
Paul taught that there is no fellowship between righteousness and lawlessness, no communion between light and dark, no accord between Christ and Satan, no part between believers and unbelievers, and no agreement between God and idolatry; therefore to join the two is imbalanced (II Corinthians 6:14-18), certainly not comparable. Indeed, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" (Amos 3:3). The marriage of a Christian to a non-Christian is nothing short of a "house divided against itself," which, according to Jesus, "will not stand" (Matthew 12:25).
Those who choose to marry unbelievers cannot accurately claim, like Joshua did, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15). Quite plainly, service to the Lord would not be a priority in such a divided house. Knowing this, the Lord forbade intermarriage of the Israelites with Gentiles, saying, "Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods" (Deuteronomy 7:3-4).
The couple that is "unequally yoked" suffers serious disadvantage. The wife of an unbelieving husband does not receive from him the love that Christ had for the church in dying for her (Ephesians 5:25-27). Because he rejects Christ, he does not obey the command of husbands to "love their own wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28-29). Likewise, the husband of an unbelieving wife does not receive from her the submission and respect due him because she has failed to first submit to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33).
Christians are aware of the responsibilities husbands and wives owe one another, such as "Husbands&ldots;dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered" (I Peter 3:7). However, there is little, if any, understanding between a child of God and a child of the Devil. If the man and woman are not, in fact, joint heirs of the grace of life, they can expect prayers to be hindered.
The children produced by an integrated marriage suffer grave disadvantage, as well. They will either be deprived of a father who will "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4), or of a mother who will ensure "that from childhood [they] have known the Holy Scriptures" (II Timothy 1:5; 3:15). Nehemiah observed the consequences: "In those days, I also saw Jews who had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. And half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod, and could not speak the language of Judah, but spoke according to the language of one or the other people" (Nehemiah 13:23-24). The likelihood of raising children who will be faithful to the Lord is greatly diminished when one parent is not serving God.
All things considered, it seems quite unwise for a Christian to become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24) with a person who has yet to accept the one body, one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God (Ephesians 4:4-6). Why share a life with one with whom you will not share heaven?
Those who have already chosen godless mates must not divorce them (I Corinthians 7:12-16). Instead, they are charged with a serious task: "Wives&ldots;be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear" (I Peter 3:1-2). The behavior of the Christian must be exemplary in order to convert the lost spouse. Anything less would present an occasion for blasphemy.
-- Bryan Matthew Dockens